


Angel Feathers and Healing Touches

by blackrose_17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Protective Dean, Romance, Sam is still healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose_17/pseuds/blackrose_17
Summary: Sam is still healing from both the trails and having something else in him again, but worse of all is the tension between him and Dean. Sam would give anything to have this tension broke he just didn't expect it to be thanks to Gadreel. Sam finds himself taking care of the injured angel and finds something new, something he wishes to treasure.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SPN Reverse Big Bang challenge where I luck out in working with nonexistenz/jayi.  
> Check out there art here: [AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9649574) | [tumblr](http://nonexistenz.tumblr.com/post/157083563367)  
> A big thank you to my beta alyndra

Stumbling, Gadreel clung to the wall as he forced his body to move. He had never known such pain until he came to the human realm. His wings, an angel’s most beloved part, were a mess. He had known that they had been injured in the fall, but they had been healing some while he had been inside of Sam Winchester.

Sam Winchester: oh, how he regretted tricking the young man into being his vessel and making his brother keep him a secret! He had been serious when he heard Dean’s prayer: all he had wanted to do was help, but given Sam’s history with Lucifer, he hadn’t been sure the young man would want his help. And not just because he was an angel, but because of his role in Lucifer’s fall.

Still, he did not know where else to go.

"I only hope that they will accept me." Closing his eyes, Gadreel summoned up the last of his strength and teleported away.

* * *

 

 

Sam Winchester was tired.

Tired of having his body taken over without his consent, and he was certainly tired of being used without his knowledge.  And even though he was so angry with Dean, he could understand why his brother had done so. He hadn't meant to hurt Dean, he had let his anger speak for him. Yes, he would do everything to save Dean, but no, he would never have his brother's body taken over without his knowledge. It reminded Sam too much of what Meg and Lucifer did to him, and he would never want Dean to go through that.

Sam hated the tension that hung in the air between him and Dean, and he hated the idea that Dean thought he would let him die, but he just didn't know how to explain himself properly. Sam didn’t like that he had hurt his brother, but he wasn’t sure how to explain it to Dean. The bunker had never felt like home to Sam and it felt even less like it now. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to make peace with Dean but he wasn't sure how to.

 _‘Just give me a sign.’_ Sam didn't normally pray unless it was to ask for Dean to be kept safe, but he was at a loss of what to do.

Across the room, Dean watched the slump to Sam's shoulders; he could tell that even though Sam had a book in his hands, he wasn't reading it. He wanted nothing more than to go over there and sit at the same table as Sam and talk to him. But he was hurt and, damn it, he knows that he hurt Sam as well when he asked Gadreel to heal him and then he possessed Sam without Sam's permission. He knew how much it hurt his brother to have his body taken over without his say so.

It was no secret Dean didn't trust angels, except for Castiel, and even then the angel had done a few things to make him question that trust. But right then, Sam had been in danger. He hadn't realized how badly the trials had messed him up. How badly they had left Sam damaged; until he was faced with losing Sam, so he had done the only thing he could think of and he prayed for help, even though he knew that, more than likely, those who could hear his prayers would want to kill them. That hadn't mattered; all that mattered was Sam.

 _‘I should have told Sam from the start.’_ Dean knew it was wrong to keep such a huge secret from Sam, but he couldn't risk Sam getting rid of Gadreel before he was done healing Sam.

There was nothing both Sam and Dean hated more than being at odds with one another. The last few times, they had nearly brought about the end of the world; but neither of them knew how to take that first step to start mending the fences between them.

Dean took a step forward, the same moment that Sam lifted up his head, and their eyes met: both of them freezing, the words forming on their lips, but neither able to force them through.

The sound of wings fluttering and a body hitting the ground hard broke the spell being woven over them, and they were moving, still like the team they were, despite the tension that hung between them. Dean had his gun out and was happy to see that Sam had done the same. It was no secret that the Men of Letters had warded the bunker against everything that they could think of, but Sam and Dean had changed it a little to allow Castiel access, even though he didn't need it anymore, now that he was graceless. They had changed it back keeping all angels out of the bunker.

All angels with grace out of the bunker, it would seem. Or in this case angels with grace but not enough to heal themselves which allowed him to slip through their wardings.

"Son of a bitch," Dean muttered as he stared at the man who had begged Dean to let him help Sam. The angel who only left because Dean could no longer take lying to Sam, and let the whole story came spilling out. Knowing the truth, Sam had forced Gadreel out of his body, but the damage had been done to the boys’ relationship.

Sam had spent centuries around angels, trapped in the cage as Michael and Lucifer's plaything, he could see things that not even his brother could. His breath caught at the sight of Gadreel's torn, broken and bloody wings. He wasn't even aware he was moving until Dean's hand landed on his arm and halted him in his tracks.

For the first time in a week, Dean had touched him, and it brought a smile to Sam's face. "It's okay, Dean. He's hurt. I think he needs our help."

If Dean was anyone but himself, he might have cried at having Sam's smile directed at him after so long. "Sam, are you sure?" Dean knew that his brother had a big heart. One that was full of caring and compassion: it was why Sam ended up helping so many of those who had hurt him. It was just in Sam's nature to do so.

Sam was touched at Dean's concern, and he knew that they needed to talk, and talk soon. Swallowing hard, Sam turned his gaze back onto Gadreel and took in the broken angel before turning his attention back to Dean. "I'm sure. He screwed up, forcing you to stay silent while he was healing me, but I think he was trying to help us. Help me. Besides, where else will he go? It's better to have him here than out there." Sam might be willing to help Gadreel, but he still didn't trust him. "Besides, you will be there right beside me, won't you?"

Dean hated how Sam sounded so lost, like back when he was a kid, and it killed him to know that he was part of the reason Sam sounded like that. "I'm not going anywhere, Sammy." They would do this together.

Gadreel knew that he had used up all his remaining energy to teleport to the bunker, but he forced his head up weakly and found himself begging, "I don't deserve to ask for you help, but I am pleading for it."

That was it. Dean couldn't make this decision; it was all up to Sam. "No one would blame you if you turned him away, not even him." Dean didn't know much about Gadreel, but he could tell when someone was looking to either make amends or finally be punished for his sins. _‘And if I see it, so does Sam.’_

"We'll help him." Sam couldn't turn him away: it wasn't in his nature.

It wasn't easy, with Sam still healing, himself, and it made Dean more concerned about watching how Sam was doing, but together the two of them managed to get Gadreel into one of the spare bedrooms.

"You don't have to do this." Dean found himself repeating, as he watched Sam hesitate above Gadreel.

"No. I can do this. As wrong as he was, it wasn't like he was Meg or Luc... Lucifer." Sam was grateful when Dean said nothing about his stutter. "He was trying to help, just like you were." Sam shot a look at Dean from beneath his eyebrows.

Dean didn't think that he would hear that from Sam, and for the first time in a week, he felt like he was able to breathe again and was whole. "I shouldn't have done that, Sam. I was wrong. I was just so afraid I was going to lose you. I had already done that once before, and I wasn't whole, Sam. I couldn't live like that again," Dean admitted.

Sam knew what Dean was talking about. When Dean had been in hell, it had been the worst time of Sam's life. He had started drinking blood in hopes of being able to get him back. "We both do whatever it takes to save one another, and that isn't going to change."

Sam knew what Dean was going to say, even before his brother opened up his mouth. "Enough of these chick flick moments. How can I help?" Dean hadn't spent as much time around angels, so he couldn't see the wings like Sam could, but he had seen the outline of the wings in the shadows, against the walls or on the floor, and they hadn't looked good.

"I think I can do this. Why don't you go work on the Impala? You said you had some stuff to do," Sam reminded his brother.

"Call me if you need anything." Dean gave Sam a pointed look.

"I will," Sam promised. Sam didn't mind it when Dean lingered a little longer before taking his leave, and he was thankful that Dean had left the door open on his way out, allowing Sam to listen to the sound of Dean's footsteps as he moved down the hallway. Taking a deep breath, Sam turned his attention back to Gadreel's still form.

Sam left the room only once, to gather up the supplies that he figured he would need to care for Gadreel, before returning to the angel's side. ‘ _It's different than caring for Dean.’_ Sam had learned to patch Dean and their dad up  from their hunts from a young age. It had been a way for him to feel useful, and it helped: he and Dean looked to one another to patch each other up, only seeking out hospitals or doctors when they knew the injury was above their skill.

Sam had never cared for an angel before, not voluntarily. Lucifer had made sure that Sam knew how to take care of his wings in the cage, and what punishment awaited him if he did the smallest thing wrong. _No._ Sam closed his eyes as his hands began to shake, as once again memories of his time in the cage started coming to the surface. "You are not in the cage anymore. You are home with Dean," Sam whispered, pressing down on the scar like he had done ever since Dean told him to. He had done it when Dean had been taken from him, too.

Consciousness was something Gadreel was drifting in and out of, but through the blurry vision, he watched as Sam anchored himself and heard the words that he whispered. He knew that Sam still carried scars that not even an angel's healing could reach. "Please forgive me, Sam." Gadreel saw Sam's eyes shoot to him, before darkness claimed him once again.

For a moment, Sam could only stare at Gadreel's still form, the angel's words repeating like a waltz in his head. He wanted to believe that more angels than just Castiel were good. _‘Please prove me right about you, Gadreel,’_ Sam prayed silently, as he set about cleaning Gadreel’s wounds so he could start on his wings.

* * *

 

 

Gadreel was unsure how long he slept, but when he awoke, it was no longer Sam looking over him with hell in his eyes, but Dean, who looked steely-eyed and unreadable, sitting at the desk across from the bed he rested on.

"About time you woke up," was all Dean growled out as he studied the angel.

"I did not mean to be a hindrance. I shall be on my way." Gadreel knew that Dean wasn't his biggest fan, that he had hated having to lie to his brother.

"And undo all the hard work Sam did? Yeah, I don't think so. My brother spent half the night looking after your wings, so you are staying put," Dean ordered. He could still see the puppy eyes Sam gave him when he finally agreed to rest, but only if Dean would take on watching over Gadreel. "He unleashed his puppy eyes, and you don't say no to them."

"I have heard the tale of Sam Winchester's legendary puppy dog eyes and know that they are a powerful weapon, one that few can refuse or say no to," Gadreel drawled out.

That had Dean raising an eyebrow, unsure if Gadreel was being serious or attempting to joke. ‘ _Nope, given the power of Sam's puppy dog eyes, it wouldn't surprise me if they did declare them a weapon in heaven and hell.’_ Shrugging his shoulders and leaving the discussion of Sam's puppy eyes for another day, Dean focused on why he was here. "Look. You have given every reason for us not to trust you, but if you know anything about us, then you know that it is in Sam's nature to help those in need. You came to us for help. From what Sam has said, your wings are pretty bad, and they are going to take time to heal. My brother wants to help you, and that means you are going to have to stay with us for a while. I will make one thing clear: the only reason you are still here is because of Sam, but if you do anything to harm my brother in any way, it will be the last thing you ever do. That death wish you seem to have will be granted."

Gadreel could only look in shock at Dean. "How do you know I am wishing for death?"

The answer didn't come from Dean.

"Because Dean and I have both been there. We know the signs."

Both Gadreel’s and Dean's eyes flew to the door, and Dean was out of his chair and next to Sam before Gadreel even had time to blink. A weight lifted off Gadreel's chest at the sight of Sam and Dean comfortable with one another again; the last thing he had wanted to do was harm the bond between the brothers. "I owe you a debt that can never be repaid. I came to you because I have nowhere else to go," Gadreel admitted softly.

Sam took half a step into the room, only to be stopped by Dean's hand wrapping around his wrist. He knew that Dean still wasn't comfortable with Sam being alone with Gadreel. "We both have been where you are. I was a mess after I got back from the cage and when my wall fell. A big part of the reason I agreed to the trials was in hopes of making amends for the mistakes I have made in the past. You can stay as long as you need to."

Gadreel didn't know what to say. Sam Winchester was so different from what he was supposed to be, it was hard to believe that this was the man who had been destined to be Lucifer's vessel. ‘ _But it would explain why Lucifer was beaten by Sam. How Sam overcame him. Sam Winchester is something truly special.’_ "Thank you, Sam. For everything." The small smile Sam sent his way stole Gadreel's breath away.

"Dean, why don't you go fix us lunch while I check Gadreel’s wings again?" Sam asked, making sure to give Dean a pair of puppy eyes.

Dean wasn't a fool: he knew when Sam was trying to get rid of him. "Thirty minutes, or I can't be held responsible for eating it all."

"I'll be there." Sam knew, if he wasn't, then Dean would come looking for him.

Gadreel didn't need to look at Dean to see that his promise was still that, a promise. Harm Sam, and he would grant him the death that he so longed for.

Sam waited until he was sure that Dean had headed for the kitchen before turning his attention onto Gadreel. "Can I see your wings?" Sam asked.

His wings: they were the last thing that Gadreel wanted Sam to see. "They are not pretty," Gadreel warned, and that was an understatement; his wings were a mess.

"I know, but I need to see them. To see what I can do to help heal them," Sam pleaded softly. "I know about angel wings, and how much they mean to you. I don't want you to lose them. Please let me look at them." Sam wasn't above begging: this wasn't Michael or Lucifer. In his heart, Sam knew that Gadreel wouldn't hurt him.

It was Sam's soft plea that had Gadreel closing his eyes and bringing out his wings. He did his best not to flinch as they unfolded; they burned, unlike anything he had ever felt before.

Gadreel's wings were bloody and scorched, and it broke Sam's heart to look at them. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Gadreel was feeling at that moment. He had seen the flash of pain that appeared in Gadreel’s eyes as he pulled out his wings. Carefully, Sam lifted up his hands and began to slowly untangle the feathers. "Sorry," Sam whispered when he felt Gadreel shudder.

"You did nothing wrong. It just has been a long time since I have had another touching my wings. Please continue." Gadreel couldn't remember the last time anyone's touch felt as good as Sam's. Sam's touch was a balm to his wounded wings, and he never wanted the younger man to stop.

Still unsure that he wasn't hurting Gadreel, Sam was more careful as he worked, untangling the few feathers that were left on the wings.

Gadreel was unsure of how long the silence went on before he found himself breaking it. "I wish to apologize. The last thing I wanted to do was cause problems between you and your brother. Dean loves you very much."

"Thank you. I'm very lucky to have a brother like Dean. We will work through this, like we have done in the past. It's not the first time that someone has tried to drive us apart." Sam wanted to know more about Gadreel; he wanted to ask him why he sought them out.

"You are not the only one to have made mistakes. I am unlike you, Sam: you do not need to atone for anything; you carry the weight of everyone's mistakes as your own. I know that you still blame yourself in Lucifer's release, even though there were others who had a hand in it. You place too much blame upon yourself and do not share the blame as it should be shared. I do not have such luck. My actions were my own, and I, to this day, am still trying to make amends. Do not care for me because you think you owe me, or that it will make up for something." Gadreel did not want Sam to look after him out of some misplaced guilt.

When Sam said nothing, Gadreel was afraid that he had said too much and hurt the young man.

"That is not why I offered to help you," Sam whispered. "I did it because even though you lied to Dean and made Dean lie to me, you were trying to help us. Trying to help me. I can forgive that, but it will take time, and it will take Dean much longer to find forgiveness in his heart for you."

Gadreel was not surprised at that piece of news. It was no secret that Dean was overprotective of his little brother; their love for one another was a big part of why heaven and hell's plans for them fell apart. "Again, thank you, Sam, for being the kind soul that you are."

* * *

 

 

Dean wasn't a fool: he could see, well before Sam and Gadreel could, that something was building between them. And the key to it was Sam caring for Gadreel's wings. He had offered to help look after them, but Sam had turned him down flat.

"Are you sure we can trust him?" Dean found himself asking Castiel, as they watched Sam show Gadreel how to work a TV and what shows would be of interest to him.

Tilting his head, Castiel studied them.  It had been Sam who called up Castiel and asked him to come back to the bunker. When he arrived back, he had seen the apology in Sam's eyes and cut the younger man off. He had known given the choice between Sam's wellbeing and Castiel that there was no choice, Dean would always choose Sam and Castiel didn't hold it against either one of them. "I do believe that Gadreel has no ill will towards Sam; that he, too, has fallen under the spell of Sam's caring heart."        

That had Dean raising an eyebrow. "Something you need to tell me, Cas?"

"No, nothing, Dean. I do not believe that you have anything to worry about when it comes to Gadreel. But if I am wrong, I will help hold him down while you deal with him," Castiel promised. "I do think that Sam will be good for Gadreel, as Gadreel might be good for Sam in return."

Dean still wasn't sure about that. But he wouldn't stop Sam from finding some happiness.

* * *

 

 

"Your wings are looking better, Gadreel," Sam was happy to tell him, as he ran his hands through his wings. He was doing his usual check on them before he headed off to bed.

They still weren't whole; the scorch marks still remained, but the way Sam looked at them like they were perfect was all Gadreel needed to see. "I cannot thank you enough Sam. They are healing because of you." Turning, Gadreel caught Sam's hands in his, and looked into the eyes of the young man who showed him kindness when he didn't need to. He had heard Castiel's words and knew that his brother was right: he had fallen for Sam Winchester. "My wings and I have healed enough that I should be able to leave."

That was the last thing Sam wanted to hear, but he forced himself to remain strong, even though his heart was breaking.

"But I do not wish to leave you, Sam."

Sam's head shot up and his eyes met Gadreel's. "Do you mean that?"

"I do. You are very special, Sam Winchester, and I would be a fool to let you go. That is, if you will have me." Gadreel would not force Sam into anything he didn't want.

Cupping Gadreel's face between his hands, Sam pressed his lips against his in a short but sweet kiss. "I am ore than willing, as long as we take it slow."

Pulling Sam into his arms, Gadreel curled his still-healing wings around them both. "We will take it as slow as we need to. I will never rush you into anything you do not want," Gadreel promised.

Sam didn't want to scare Gadreel, but he found himself reminding him, "You will also have to talk to Dean, and he will more than likely give you the shovel talk."

"I do not know what the shovel talk is, but I will gladly sit through it, if it means I get to have you in my life." Gadreel knew that getting Dean's approval would not be easy, but to have Sam curled up in his arms like he was now? He would be willingly take on the world and all of heaven to keep Sam there.

"We'll see if you still say the same thing when you talk to Dean." Sam knew his brother could be scary, and he was very protective when it came to Sam's love life.

* * *

 

 

"I wish to court your brother."

That was the last thing that Dean expected to hear before he even had his cup of coffee. Blinking for a moment, he could only stare at Gadreel, who was looking at him like he was ready to do battle. ‘ _As he should be.’_ Putting down his beloved cup of coffee, Dean raised himself to his full height and glared at Gadreel. "My promise from before still stands. But now, if you break my brother's heart, there will be no place you can run or hide that I won't find you. Even if it takes me to the end of my days, I would find you and make you pay in ways that you couldn't even begin to imagine. I was Alastair’s best, and when it comes to Sam's happiness, I have no problem using those skills," Dean growled out as he stared down the angel. "Do you understand me?"

"Dean! You can't go around threatening everyone who even looks at me like that!" Sam who had slipped into the room while Dean and Gadreel had started facing off couldn't believe that his brother would say something like that.

"Who says I can't?"

"Dean is wise to issue such challenges. It makes it easier for him to find the unworthy ones."

Sam could only shake his head in disbelief at the two of them.

Dean nodded at Gadreel. "Thank you for understanding and seeing my side of things. Sam, you could learn a lot from him. Just keep the noise level down and I don't think we'll have any problems."

Confused, Gadreel turned to Sam. "Why would we need to worry about the noise?"

That earned a chuckle from Dean and a blush from Sam as he moved to stand beside Gadreel and gave him a quick good morning kiss. "I'll explain later."

"I do not understand humans, either, but trust that Sam will explain later," Castiel informed Gadreel as he entered the kitchen. "I take it that Dean has issued his threats to you?"

"He has," Gadreel responded.

"Good. Then I do not have to repeat it. Just know that if you hurt Sam, my brother or not, I will use my angel blade on you," Castiel promised.

"Why is everyone threatening Gadreel? Lay off him!" Sam couldn't understand it.

"Because you are worth protecting and guarding, Sam. After everything you have been through, you deserve the world, and I will do my best to give it to you," Gadreel answered. Couldn't Sam see how special he was?

That earned Gadreel major points, as far as Dean was concerned, but he’d still be keeping his eye on him.

It had been so long since anyone looked at Sam like that, and he didn't care if Dean and Castiel were watching. As he kissed Gadreel, he wanted Gadreel to see that he was just as special and worth fighting for, no matter what came their way.


End file.
